So I haven't been posting blogs for about three weeks, NOT because I don't love you guys, but more so me just trying to make this next blog the best it could be.
Now I have been reading a book for women called Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul, in this case though this part of the book can be taken and used for both sexes, hooray equality lol!
Now this Chapter of the book is called, "Healing the Wound" and I found a lot of things in this chapter really spoke to me on a different level. The chapter started out with a story about a Hummingbird who was stuck in a garage, and could not find it's little way out. Windows and walls became more and more of a threat because the little bird became panicked. Not until Stasi, who is the novelist of this book, was able to go out and free it from it's hell.
That right there gave me a picture of how humans without the Love of God are just like that Hummingbird flying all over the place, lost, confused and hitting every wall, door or glass window there is with no hope of ever getting out. That is until God comes in just like Stasi did and grabs us out of that jail and sets us free, free from our self effort, free from us trying to find our way out and free to live our lives knowing that someone has our back.
Now back to the chapter, after that story was brought up Stasi decided to throw in a bible verse that seems to speak the same observation. Isaiah 61:1-3..which states:
1. The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2.To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, And the day of vengeance of our God, To comfort all who mourn,
3.To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Not only does that already scream out the same message, Stasi decides to take it one step further and re-word the scripture to make it more familiar and this right here is what made me stop and literally say, "wow".
God has sent me on a mission, I have some great news for you.
God has sent me to restore and release something.
And that something, is you.
I am here to give back your heart and set you free.
I am furious at the Enemy who did this to you, and I have fought against him.
Let me comfort you.
For, dear one I will bestow beauty upon you,
where you have known only devastation.
Joy, in the place of your deep sorrow.
And I will robe your heart in thankful praise,
in exchange for your resignation and despair.
In that one re-worded paragraph my life has changed. I realize now that I am forgiven, I am loved and I am provided for. I was so wrapped up in the earths definition for those things that I forgot about God's.
I don't look like Barbie and I never will, I won't be a rich as Paris Hilton but at least I am doing something productive with my life, LOL.. sorry I had to. I am not blond and blue eyed, meaning I am not perfect.
The point is according to the earth that right above this is how I am perceived, but by God I am perceived as Perfect, Rich, Whole, Blessed, Beautiful, Loved and Provided for.
Now because if that I have the confidence to walk out of my door tomorrow, knowing that I am not second best, knowing that if I want something bad enough I'll try, knowing I have security, knowing that if someone decides they hate me I still have the One that matters the most...etc
I love you guys so much and I hope this really speaks to your hearts as it did mine :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Where My limit reaches the end, God's is just beginning.
I have promised that I would blog about the things that have bothered me over the past few weeks, to the point of me reaching the place where I need God to run everything.
During my two years of bible college I learned many of life changing and knowledgable things, one of the many things I've learned is that, "Works (trying to do things by yourself) bring you to the end of yourself, where you realize that God needs to takeover."
Now you must think, "Wow, haven't you already applied that knowledge to your own life?" The answer to that is yes I have in many areas of my life, there are just a few areas for some reason, that haven't learned or grown in that idea yet. It could also be my stubborness affecting the outcome. Either way I have been going through a huge change when it comes to my life this past few weeks and I have learned where some things need to change to where I don't rely on myself to change the issues but God.
People have noticed that I have been a bit down, upset, stressed, closed in and maybe even a bit cranky. I DO APPOLOGIZE if I was cranky to any of you (don't think I was) because it was definatley nothing you guys did.
One of the many things going on is that I have no Job, I have had no job since April and the first few months I was cool with it, but now it is getting to be a real pain. It is hard for me to wake up everyday and wonder how I am going to pay for everything I need to pay for. Now I do watch four children when they are at their mothers house, every two weeks and yes I do get paid for that, not at all the amount I need, but it does help substantially! I just need to find a full time job during the day mon-fri (would be perfect) to add onto my day. That way I will be able to pay for the things I need to pay for.
The second stresser that I have is that I don't have a car. I am able to use Donna's car on occasion which in itself is awesome! I just need to have freedom. It is different for me because I live in Niagara-On-The-Lake and there is no city bus and all my friends and all my meetings and things I am involved in is in St Catharines and there is no way to get there. I don't have a bike and walking would take a min of 2 hours to walk there. I just need to get a car even if it is cheap as long as it is reliable. If you know of anybody who is selling a car for cheap please let me know!
The other thing is, I feel like I am "wasting" every day because I haven't even found the thing that I wan't to go to school for or what I want to do. Every occupation out there has perks yes, but it doesn't have that "thing". If my heart can't be invested in something fully then I wont do it because I want to be where God wants me to be.
There are other stressers that are affecting my thought life and that is what God has addressed to me. I need to control my thought life and control what/how I think. That is why a couple of days ago I finally gae up control and gave it to God, I have let Him take control and provide those things for me. He knows the desires of my heart and He knows what I need so He WILL provide those things for me. Amen
I, just as I am sure every one of you have done, have fallen into trying to make things happen and I realize that has brought me nowhere, so that has been another look into my life
Thanks to all my friends for being there and accepting me for my flaws and still loving me!!
In the end it is so much more peaceful when God is in control!
During my two years of bible college I learned many of life changing and knowledgable things, one of the many things I've learned is that, "Works (trying to do things by yourself) bring you to the end of yourself, where you realize that God needs to takeover."
Now you must think, "Wow, haven't you already applied that knowledge to your own life?" The answer to that is yes I have in many areas of my life, there are just a few areas for some reason, that haven't learned or grown in that idea yet. It could also be my stubborness affecting the outcome. Either way I have been going through a huge change when it comes to my life this past few weeks and I have learned where some things need to change to where I don't rely on myself to change the issues but God.
People have noticed that I have been a bit down, upset, stressed, closed in and maybe even a bit cranky. I DO APPOLOGIZE if I was cranky to any of you (don't think I was) because it was definatley nothing you guys did.
One of the many things going on is that I have no Job, I have had no job since April and the first few months I was cool with it, but now it is getting to be a real pain. It is hard for me to wake up everyday and wonder how I am going to pay for everything I need to pay for. Now I do watch four children when they are at their mothers house, every two weeks and yes I do get paid for that, not at all the amount I need, but it does help substantially! I just need to find a full time job during the day mon-fri (would be perfect) to add onto my day. That way I will be able to pay for the things I need to pay for.
The second stresser that I have is that I don't have a car. I am able to use Donna's car on occasion which in itself is awesome! I just need to have freedom. It is different for me because I live in Niagara-On-The-Lake and there is no city bus and all my friends and all my meetings and things I am involved in is in St Catharines and there is no way to get there. I don't have a bike and walking would take a min of 2 hours to walk there. I just need to get a car even if it is cheap as long as it is reliable. If you know of anybody who is selling a car for cheap please let me know!
The other thing is, I feel like I am "wasting" every day because I haven't even found the thing that I wan't to go to school for or what I want to do. Every occupation out there has perks yes, but it doesn't have that "thing". If my heart can't be invested in something fully then I wont do it because I want to be where God wants me to be.
There are other stressers that are affecting my thought life and that is what God has addressed to me. I need to control my thought life and control what/how I think. That is why a couple of days ago I finally gae up control and gave it to God, I have let Him take control and provide those things for me. He knows the desires of my heart and He knows what I need so He WILL provide those things for me. Amen
I, just as I am sure every one of you have done, have fallen into trying to make things happen and I realize that has brought me nowhere, so that has been another look into my life
Thanks to all my friends for being there and accepting me for my flaws and still loving me!!
In the end it is so much more peaceful when God is in control!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
30 Day Challenge: Day 3,7,8,9,10 and 11!!
30 Day Challenge: K wow I have missed 6 days of this challenge due to going from one place to another watching children and running, so now I will catch up on those six days. Sorry!!!!!!
Day #11: A picture of something I hate!
I just find it really funny :)
Day #9: Something you're proud of in the past few days.
I am proud of getting Natalie's van fixed and how seeing how bad the tires were and how all the mechanics were surprised that we drove on the QEW without dying. That screams GOD all over it, and how he held that tire long enough for us to go get it fixed!!! I am proud that we listened to God and got it fixed! :) Yay for God and wisdom.
Day #10: Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Happy: Only Girl (In the world) - Rihanna
Sad: You are loved- Josh Groban
Bored: Anything from Underoath, Skillet, AC/DC and others
Hyped: Anything by Drake, HE IS WE, Jason Derulo, Ne-Yo
Mad: Josh Groban to calm me down.. lol
Day #11: A picture of something I hate!
Marshmallows are YUCKY!
Day #7: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Music has always impacted me for the better no matter what!
Day #3: A Picture of you and your friends!
Me, Kristen, Natalie and Donna!
Day #8 :A picture that makes you laugh.
Day #9: Something you're proud of in the past few days.
I am proud of getting Natalie's van fixed and how seeing how bad the tires were and how all the mechanics were surprised that we drove on the QEW without dying. That screams GOD all over it, and how he held that tire long enough for us to go get it fixed!!! I am proud that we listened to God and got it fixed! :) Yay for God and wisdom.
Day #10: Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Happy: Only Girl (In the world) - Rihanna
Sad: You are loved- Josh Groban
Bored: Anything from Underoath, Skillet, AC/DC and others
Hyped: Anything by Drake, HE IS WE, Jason Derulo, Ne-Yo
Mad: Josh Groban to calm me down.. lol
Thursday, October 14, 2010
30 Day Challenge - Day 5+6: A picture of somewhere you've been to. and Favorite super hero and why.
#5: A Picture of somewhere I have been:
#6: Favorite super hero and why.
Hmmm... well on wikipedia it says that Optimus Prime is considered a super hero, so HE is my favourite cause I don't like any if the famous ones.. And my favourite villan is the Joker ONLY when played by Heath Ledger
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
30 Day Challenge - Day 4: I habit that you wish you didn't have.
30 Day Challenge - because I am not at home till saturday I am unable to get a picture from my laptop of friends and me, so I will switch with day # 4 and tomorrow I will do 5 and so on and on saturaday I will do day 3!
The habit that I wish I didn't have would be, biting my nails..... yah it sucks
The habit that I wish I didn't have would be, biting my nails..... yah it sucks
Thankfulness List 2010
I have seen these going up all over the place, so to be cool I am going to do one to! :P
1) To have a God that loves me SO MUCH, even tho at times I can be a little stubborn!
2) My mother Karen Cliffe, she is one of the strongest women I know, having to go through the things she did and as well having to deal with a very "interesting" teenager (Not me.........O.O lol). I love you mom and I hope that you see I always have even through the rough patches.
3) My sister Cassandra Cliffe, I can't count on my limbs how much times we have laughed without being able to stop. I miss you and hope that you come visit me soon! I also remember how much black eyes we have given each other wrestling on the ground and hitting each other. love ya sis (sehr what I have always called her)
4) Donna for the times that we have laughed so hard that we have cried, for showing me kindness and inviting me not only into your home but into your family. I can never say how great-full I am to be able to be a part of your family.
5) Caleb, Abbey, Chloe and Jordan for your never ending energy. Watching you guys grow older and mature into beautiful children of God makes my heart melt. For the times that I was upset and you guys just brighten my day and for the times that we goof around and laugh. I love you guys so MUCH!!
6) My laptop even though it drives me nuts and the only way it works is to scream at it and hit it. It has brought me through some very boring days, and also allows me to watch my subscriptions on YOUTUBE.
7) I am thankful of YouTube, without YouTube I wouldn't know some of the cool facts I know now and I wouldn't have been able to watch some really great and talented people, to name a few --> RaywilliamJohnson, Shane Dawson, Shay Carl and Shaytards, Mystery Guitar Man, Ctfxc, Smosh and others!
8) My blackberry because I have dropped it numerous times and it still continues to work!
9) For my Best Friends (Hanne, Holly, Chantal, Sherry, Mikhail, Ali, Donna, Nat, Cj, Saralynn, Taras, Geoff, Matthew for your crazyness and Brad) For all the things we have gotten into, for all the times we have laughed and as well cried. For putting up with my abuse ;)
10) Hanne I think, without you in my life, I don't know where I would be right now, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would meet someone like you while I was in school. You make my life complete, and I am starting to cry writing this because even though you are in Norway and I am here I still feel like we saw each other yesterday. I will love you forever and I hope that down the road when our husbands have died (cause men don't live as long as women) that you and I will have wheelchair races down the hallways of the old folks home that we will live in together! I LOVE YOU <3
11) Holly, My longest friend out there who have had to put up with me through the whole time :) I love you and I love our skype dates, and the times that we just laugh and goof around. I miss our random drives around town and circling the location we need to get to numerous times, because we are to busy talking! I love you!
12) Chantal for helping me understand life in a whole new way and for encouraging me when things go wrong. As well putting up with my opinions and always finding something that we can laugh about for hours on end!! Love you to!!
13) I am thankful for the chilly fall weather with gorgeous colours!
14) I am thankful for Natalie for the laughs and for allowing me to be a part of your family as well and Calum, Ayden, Malakai and Neveah for you guys brighten my day :)
15) For a house to live in, food to eat and water to drink.
16) I am thankful for Pumpkin Pie, because it is delicious =)
17) For clothes cause otherwise I would be naked and that is frowned upon in most countries....
18) I am happy that shoes were invented because my feet wouldnt be so awesome and smooth if I didnt wear shoes.
19) Abbey the dog and Ebonie, Bridget and Lola the cats and April the rabbit.......
20) I appreciate facebook for getting me through my life.
21) I am thankful that I have this blog so I can express my feelings and have an outlet for my creativity
22) I am thankful for this earth even though sometimes its really messed up, I have a way to live and breathe and experience different things.
23) I am thankful for toilet paper, because I don't even have to describe why....
24) I am thankful for bejewelled blitz for wasting my precious time and keeping myself occupied so I am not getting into trouble.
25) My Aunt Melinda and Uncle Joe for your love and support! Michael, Alex, Trevor and Kyle for being pretty awesome cousins. My grandma as well for your love :) <3 you guys
26) I almost forgot the most important thing after God, MUSIC. I am thankful to able to listen to music and have a way to express myself through writing and performing my music.
So everyone this is my list for 2010. I hope you like.
1) To have a God that loves me SO MUCH, even tho at times I can be a little stubborn!
2) My mother Karen Cliffe, she is one of the strongest women I know, having to go through the things she did and as well having to deal with a very "interesting" teenager (Not me.........O.O lol). I love you mom and I hope that you see I always have even through the rough patches.
3) My sister Cassandra Cliffe, I can't count on my limbs how much times we have laughed without being able to stop. I miss you and hope that you come visit me soon! I also remember how much black eyes we have given each other wrestling on the ground and hitting each other. love ya sis (sehr what I have always called her)
4) Donna for the times that we have laughed so hard that we have cried, for showing me kindness and inviting me not only into your home but into your family. I can never say how great-full I am to be able to be a part of your family.
5) Caleb, Abbey, Chloe and Jordan for your never ending energy. Watching you guys grow older and mature into beautiful children of God makes my heart melt. For the times that I was upset and you guys just brighten my day and for the times that we goof around and laugh. I love you guys so MUCH!!
6) My laptop even though it drives me nuts and the only way it works is to scream at it and hit it. It has brought me through some very boring days, and also allows me to watch my subscriptions on YOUTUBE.
7) I am thankful of YouTube, without YouTube I wouldn't know some of the cool facts I know now and I wouldn't have been able to watch some really great and talented people, to name a few --> RaywilliamJohnson, Shane Dawson, Shay Carl and Shaytards, Mystery Guitar Man, Ctfxc, Smosh and others!
8) My blackberry because I have dropped it numerous times and it still continues to work!
9) For my Best Friends (Hanne, Holly, Chantal, Sherry, Mikhail, Ali, Donna, Nat, Cj, Saralynn, Taras, Geoff, Matthew for your crazyness and Brad) For all the things we have gotten into, for all the times we have laughed and as well cried. For putting up with my abuse ;)
10) Hanne I think, without you in my life, I don't know where I would be right now, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would meet someone like you while I was in school. You make my life complete, and I am starting to cry writing this because even though you are in Norway and I am here I still feel like we saw each other yesterday. I will love you forever and I hope that down the road when our husbands have died (cause men don't live as long as women) that you and I will have wheelchair races down the hallways of the old folks home that we will live in together! I LOVE YOU <3
11) Holly, My longest friend out there who have had to put up with me through the whole time :) I love you and I love our skype dates, and the times that we just laugh and goof around. I miss our random drives around town and circling the location we need to get to numerous times, because we are to busy talking! I love you!
12) Chantal for helping me understand life in a whole new way and for encouraging me when things go wrong. As well putting up with my opinions and always finding something that we can laugh about for hours on end!! Love you to!!
13) I am thankful for the chilly fall weather with gorgeous colours!
14) I am thankful for Natalie for the laughs and for allowing me to be a part of your family as well and Calum, Ayden, Malakai and Neveah for you guys brighten my day :)
15) For a house to live in, food to eat and water to drink.
16) I am thankful for Pumpkin Pie, because it is delicious =)
17) For clothes cause otherwise I would be naked and that is frowned upon in most countries....
18) I am happy that shoes were invented because my feet wouldnt be so awesome and smooth if I didnt wear shoes.
19) Abbey the dog and Ebonie, Bridget and Lola the cats and April the rabbit.......
20) I appreciate facebook for getting me through my life.
21) I am thankful that I have this blog so I can express my feelings and have an outlet for my creativity
22) I am thankful for this earth even though sometimes its really messed up, I have a way to live and breathe and experience different things.
23) I am thankful for toilet paper, because I don't even have to describe why....
24) I am thankful for bejewelled blitz for wasting my precious time and keeping myself occupied so I am not getting into trouble.
25) My Aunt Melinda and Uncle Joe for your love and support! Michael, Alex, Trevor and Kyle for being pretty awesome cousins. My grandma as well for your love :) <3 you guys
26) I almost forgot the most important thing after God, MUSIC. I am thankful to able to listen to music and have a way to express myself through writing and performing my music.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Happy for a different reason
As I said in my last blog post, I would explain why I am extroverted and why it's for a different reason then I was before.
I was at one point extroverted so I could try to convince people I was normal, a girl without problems. Little did I know that the more extroverted I was the more people could see my problems and need for attention.
I will say I am a lot more calm then I was before, because I don't need attention anymore because Jesus fills that void I had. I was a very shy girl and because I hid that and became more "out there" I realized that its become part of who I am now. I will admit I have my moments where I am shy, where as people don't normally believe me and thats cool. I am shy when I have to speak to a boss or supervisor at work and I am also shy when it comes to meeting a huge group of people I don't know in a close setting or laying eyes on a guy I think is cute.
In my 30 day challenge I am taking part of right now I have admitted that I only get crazy hyper when I am either nervous or OVER exhausted. But the love of Jesus is so strong inside of me that I can't help but be extroverted, talk to people, smile, try to brighten their day and even just make them laugh because I am so happy to have a loving God on my side.
So if you are a shy person then be shy with Jesus, let him help you gain confidence but stay true to who YOU ARE and if you are a people person, do it with the love of Jesus, just watch that you don't go to far and scare everyone away :P
Love always!
I was at one point extroverted so I could try to convince people I was normal, a girl without problems. Little did I know that the more extroverted I was the more people could see my problems and need for attention.
I will say I am a lot more calm then I was before, because I don't need attention anymore because Jesus fills that void I had. I was a very shy girl and because I hid that and became more "out there" I realized that its become part of who I am now. I will admit I have my moments where I am shy, where as people don't normally believe me and thats cool. I am shy when I have to speak to a boss or supervisor at work and I am also shy when it comes to meeting a huge group of people I don't know in a close setting or laying eyes on a guy I think is cute.
In my 30 day challenge I am taking part of right now I have admitted that I only get crazy hyper when I am either nervous or OVER exhausted. But the love of Jesus is so strong inside of me that I can't help but be extroverted, talk to people, smile, try to brighten their day and even just make them laugh because I am so happy to have a loving God on my side.
So if you are a shy person then be shy with Jesus, let him help you gain confidence but stay true to who YOU ARE and if you are a people person, do it with the love of Jesus, just watch that you don't go to far and scare everyone away :P
Love always!
30 Day Challenge - Day 2: The meaning behind your Facebook status
Facebook Status is "He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me. Oh how He loves us so"
My status is the beginning lyrics of How He loves us from Kim Walker (Jesus Culture)
This song for some reason makes me want to get up and dance, no matter how my day is either good or bad. Showing that the creator of this universe, is jealous for us. He wants our love, He wants more than anything else to be a part of our lives. What Jesus went through on that cross was for us, the revelation of that is powerful!
My status is the beginning lyrics of How He loves us from Kim Walker (Jesus Culture)
This song for some reason makes me want to get up and dance, no matter how my day is either good or bad. Showing that the creator of this universe, is jealous for us. He wants our love, He wants more than anything else to be a part of our lives. What Jesus went through on that cross was for us, the revelation of that is powerful!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
30 Day Challenge - Day One: A recent Picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
1) I get hyper and talk a lot ONLY when I am nervous or exhausted.
2) If music was ever removed from this world, I'd want to go to.
3) My favourite colours are green and purple.
4) I love to socialize and be with people, but I need my alone time to.
5) I am very optimistic, life is to short to worry about things.
6) Jesus captivates my heart more and more each day.
7) I try to be a bold person and say what I feel when I can
8) I love suspense TV shows, anything to get the heart racing.
9) I love to draw, paint, write music, play instruments and sing.
10) I'm a computer nerd and I LOVE YouTube!
11) I have 2 tattoos but want more!
12) My Hair is the longest it's ever been.
13) I love my mom Karen Cliffe and sister Cassandra Cliffe!
14) Cats are my favourite animal but I like big dogs to!
15) I can never sit still, I am always moving my hands or feet to a song in my head.
30 Day Challenge!
I saw this on Facebook and decided to do this on Facebook as well as here :)
Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02 - The meaning behind your Facebook status.
Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have.
Day 05 - A picture of somewh...ere you've been to.
Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why.
Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - Something you're proud of in the past few days.
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of something you crave alot.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them.
Day 19 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always ma
Friday, October 8, 2010
Overcoming Obstacles
Hello! or as I have learned today, HOLA in spanish ;).
Obstacles. That is a word that every person on this earth understands! I am sure that all you guys have overcome a few in the past and are dealing with a few today. I personally think there are two ways of viewing obstacles, one way being with defeat and the other way with some form of "go getter" attitude.
The way people view obstacles, often shows how they view themselves on a deeper level. If they approach an obstacle saying, "I don't think I can do it" or "Its to big or to hard" it shows me that not only do they not care about accomplishing it, but also that they don't love themselves enough to try. People who say "I can't" only means they wont or they don't want to.
The people who face obstacles head on doesn't mean that they are better or more loved, it just means that they realize that there are problems in life and they are willing to work on it. So don't think that I am categorizing people into two different groups, because I am sure everybody has been both people at some point of their lives, and if you don't think that you were then you are obviously in denial.
I myself have faced obstacles my whole life, as I am sure everyone of you have as well. I will open up in these next few sentences on some very deep issues I have faced in my life. I am not bragging or trying to make my life sound worse then yours, for I am sure that there are people out there who have faced worse struggles then myself, I am am going to say mine only because I am speaking from experience and am going to show you how I overcame them through Jesus.
I was raised in a Christian home with loving parents. We were always short on money and life wasn't ever really easy. But one thing we never went without was love and that is why I believe I was able to hold on through the hard times, even though I fell once or twice. My father was an alcoholic and drug addict for 20 years of his life or more before he married my mother. He was also diagnosed with Diabetes at a young age, there were times he would have sugar crashes and collapse on the ground, ambulances and hospitals were a regular thing. I think after a while my father started to face obstacles with a defeated mentality, because he just gave up on life. It became so bad that after a while the first response people and ambulance drivers knew our names.
My father loved my mom, sister and I so much and we always did things together when I was young. As he started to become sicker in his body his personality changed, he soon became irritable and was always locking himself in his office for hours at a time. He worked as a chartered accountant, and he would come home every night and that would start the nightly fights between him and my mother, to the point I knew when he got home to take my little sister upstairs and play.
My sister Cassandra and I were home schooled up till high school. I was always the shy sensitive girl, and my sister as well. All the fighting started to take a toll on me, I started to become very extroverted to try and hide the anger and pain inside, and to this day I am very social but for a different reason, which I will explain further in my next blog. By the time I was 13 I was done with all the fighting, and I demanded to go to high school so I could get out of the house for a while so I could forget all the anger for a while. Grade 9, I was the "nerdy loser" people would say, because I didn't realize the clothes I had put me in that category. LOL I to this day don't care, those clothes made me happy so I wore them!
I got into lots of fights, and was almost suspended once for crashing the entire Algoma District School Board, was suspended once for taking part in organizing a school walk out. Detention was where I normally ate my lunch, and I prided myself on being there. In a weird twisted way it felt good to be bad, it felt good to be screwed up that way I got the attention I craved, because I didn't get it at home.
After I graduated Grade 11 thats when my life changed for the worse, I was 16 my father was in the hospital for a month or two during grade 11 due to congestive heart failure, he even had three blood clots in his body. Also during Grade 11 my mother and father were separated for a while because of my dad and his mood swings. Feb 14, 2004 my father moved back in with us, on medication for depression and started to watch his blood sugar more closely. The anger I had built started to subside and I started to let my family become a family again. Life was good, June 14, 2004 was my mom and dad's 18th anniversary, June 16, 2004 my sister turned 14, and June 18, 2004 was the day that changed my life-- The day my father passed away.
I became so angry and hurt after that day for about two years I began to go off the deep end, I started smoking two packs a day, drinking and doing drugs, anything I could do to fill the void and suppress the anger. To cut this story short, you can most likely agree that this was a HUGE bunch of obstacles in my life.
All of these obstacles I approached for about two years with a defeated mindset. I can summarize everything that helped me overcome these in one word, JESUS. He lifted all these weights off my chest, sure there was a lot of fighting from me because at times I can be stubborn. The Grace of Jesus was so strong and merciful that he lifted me from the deep hole I dug from myself and raised me above the ground, above the problems.
That is what Jesus can and will do for you all you have to do is let Him. There is NOTHING you can do that will change anything, or make Jesus love you more then He does already. There are always going to be things in your life that come up and try to block your view for the prize, its about whether or not you are going to let the obstacle guide you or let Jesus lift you over it. You can do it either way but I assure you that it is way faster and less emotionally taxing if you just give it to Jesus, let Him fix all the problems.
My mom always says, "You can never drive your car forward for a long period of time, while looking through the rear-view mirror." So take your mind off the past and move on towards the future. Set goals and complete them maybe even set your eyes beyond the prize that way even if you don't fully make it you still make it to where you wanted to go. Think big, think God big :)
I love you guys! Thanks for reading and I hope this helps you in some way.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
He loves you for who you are
Hello Everyone!
This is my first blog and I am so excited to be able to have this opportunity to share with you guys about what I feel, or what I have personally received in my life. So, the things I write here I hope help you in some way.
He loves you for who you are!
That has been playing through my heart the past few days, so I figured I would come here and encourage you as I have been encouraging myself.
God created everyone of us after His own image, that most of us know. I don't think a lot of us understand though, just what that means. God's image is perfect, He is greater then this world, universe and anything else that you can think of. I think as people growing up in a corrupt world our view of ourselves has been hindered by media, television, people's opinions and the push to be perfect. So many men and women spend hours picking themselves apart, because they are not "perfect".
Here is a question though, who determines what perfect is in your life? Media and the worlds views? Or
God? If you are determining who you are through the world, then of course you are not going to be perfect nobody is. Because there is always going to be somebody who is so unhappy about themselves that they have to pick apart someone else to feel better. The world is run by Satan, who is a liar and a deceiver.
So many people who have eating disorders, who are suicidal, depressed are that way because somebody somewhere told them they weren't perfect or they wouldn't be loved if they weren't a size 0, or if they had blonde hair, or if their nose was one inch smaller. I myself have been caught up in this mindset for a long time, that was until I realized something, am I not God's child? I was created by God for a purpose, I was created after His image which by the way, is PERFECT. Just as all of you are.
It is so easy for us as humans to revert to worldly thinking and getting caught up in what other people have to say about us.
God has created us perfect, complete lacking nothing in HIM! Because you are all children of God, you ARE perfect, you ARE complete. It doesn't matter if you are short, tall, thin, bigger, blonde or black hair, you are perfect. NEVER let anybody tell you that you aren't, because the fact is, they are wrong.
In the past few days, God has been working a miracle in my heart. I will be honest, I have needed a LOT of work and I am not afraid of admitting that. This shows everyone that by myself I am not perfect, but with Him I am. I found myself going down a bad path, the path of giving up. I think out of all the dangerous things that can happen in your life, one of the most dangerous things is when you give up. When that happens, you don't care what happens to you till one day you wake up and realize you are 100 years old and have accomplished nothing. You are on this earth for a reason, and if you let life walk away from you then you will live a boring and unfulfilled life.
I encourage each and everyone of you to take a step with me, lets walk forward encouraged and happy knowing that there is nothing you can do to make you any more perfect then you already are!
Now don't get me wrong eating healthy and exercising is very good for your body! That will help you live a long and happy life. But until you exercise for the right reasons, it wont benefit you.
Take risks, stick your head out of the walls you guys have built for protection. Wake up every morning and look in the mirror and say, "I am beautiful, I am perfect, I am complete in Jesus". Say it everyday! Even if you don't "feel" like it or believe it, say it anyway.
I will post more blogs as things are laid on my heart, I might even write another one tonight, I just really felt to the need to drop this small word of encouragement!
I love you guys! <3
This is my first blog and I am so excited to be able to have this opportunity to share with you guys about what I feel, or what I have personally received in my life. So, the things I write here I hope help you in some way.
He loves you for who you are!
That has been playing through my heart the past few days, so I figured I would come here and encourage you as I have been encouraging myself.
God created everyone of us after His own image, that most of us know. I don't think a lot of us understand though, just what that means. God's image is perfect, He is greater then this world, universe and anything else that you can think of. I think as people growing up in a corrupt world our view of ourselves has been hindered by media, television, people's opinions and the push to be perfect. So many men and women spend hours picking themselves apart, because they are not "perfect".
Here is a question though, who determines what perfect is in your life? Media and the worlds views? Or
God? If you are determining who you are through the world, then of course you are not going to be perfect nobody is. Because there is always going to be somebody who is so unhappy about themselves that they have to pick apart someone else to feel better. The world is run by Satan, who is a liar and a deceiver.
So many people who have eating disorders, who are suicidal, depressed are that way because somebody somewhere told them they weren't perfect or they wouldn't be loved if they weren't a size 0, or if they had blonde hair, or if their nose was one inch smaller. I myself have been caught up in this mindset for a long time, that was until I realized something, am I not God's child? I was created by God for a purpose, I was created after His image which by the way, is PERFECT. Just as all of you are.
It is so easy for us as humans to revert to worldly thinking and getting caught up in what other people have to say about us.
God has created us perfect, complete lacking nothing in HIM! Because you are all children of God, you ARE perfect, you ARE complete. It doesn't matter if you are short, tall, thin, bigger, blonde or black hair, you are perfect. NEVER let anybody tell you that you aren't, because the fact is, they are wrong.
In the past few days, God has been working a miracle in my heart. I will be honest, I have needed a LOT of work and I am not afraid of admitting that. This shows everyone that by myself I am not perfect, but with Him I am. I found myself going down a bad path, the path of giving up. I think out of all the dangerous things that can happen in your life, one of the most dangerous things is when you give up. When that happens, you don't care what happens to you till one day you wake up and realize you are 100 years old and have accomplished nothing. You are on this earth for a reason, and if you let life walk away from you then you will live a boring and unfulfilled life.
I encourage each and everyone of you to take a step with me, lets walk forward encouraged and happy knowing that there is nothing you can do to make you any more perfect then you already are!
Now don't get me wrong eating healthy and exercising is very good for your body! That will help you live a long and happy life. But until you exercise for the right reasons, it wont benefit you.
Take risks, stick your head out of the walls you guys have built for protection. Wake up every morning and look in the mirror and say, "I am beautiful, I am perfect, I am complete in Jesus". Say it everyday! Even if you don't "feel" like it or believe it, say it anyway.
I will post more blogs as things are laid on my heart, I might even write another one tonight, I just really felt to the need to drop this small word of encouragement!
I love you guys! <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)