Where My limit reaches the end, God's is just beginning.

I have promised that I would blog about the things that have bothered me over the past few weeks, to the point of me reaching the place where I need God to run everything.

During my two years of bible college I learned many of life changing and knowledgable things, one of the many things I've learned is that, "Works (trying to do things by yourself) bring you to the end of yourself, where you realize that God needs to takeover."

Now you must think, "Wow, haven't you already applied that knowledge to your own life?" The answer to that is yes I have in many areas of my life, there are just a few areas for some reason, that haven't learned or grown in that idea yet. It could also be my stubborness affecting the outcome. Either way I have been going through a huge change when it comes to my life this past few weeks and I have learned where some things need to change to where I don't rely on myself to change the issues but God.

People have noticed that I have been a bit down, upset, stressed, closed in and maybe even a bit cranky. I DO APPOLOGIZE if I was cranky to any of you (don't think I was) because it was definatley nothing you guys did.

One of the many things going on is that I have no Job, I have had no job since April and the first few months I was cool with it, but now it is getting to be a real pain. It is hard for me to wake up everyday and wonder how I am going to pay for everything I need to pay for. Now I do watch four children when they are at their mothers house, every two weeks and yes I do get paid for that, not at all the amount I need, but it does help substantially! I just need to find a full time job during the day mon-fri (would be perfect) to add onto my day. That way I will be able to pay for the things I need to pay for.

The second stresser that I have is that I don't have a car. I am able to use Donna's car on occasion which in itself is awesome! I just need to have freedom. It is different for me because I live in Niagara-On-The-Lake and there is no city bus and all my friends and all my meetings and things I am involved in is in St Catharines and there is no way to get there. I don't have a bike and walking would take a min of 2 hours to walk there. I just need to get a car even if it is cheap as long as it is reliable. If you know of anybody who is selling a car for cheap please let me know!

The other thing is, I feel like I am "wasting" every day because I haven't even found the thing that I wan't to go to school for or what I want to do. Every occupation out there has perks yes, but it doesn't have that "thing". If my heart can't be invested in something fully then I wont do it because I want to be where God wants me to be.

There are other stressers that are affecting my thought life and that is what God has addressed to me. I need to control my thought life and control what/how I think. That is why a couple of days ago I finally gae up control and gave it to God, I have let Him take control and provide those things for me. He knows the desires of my heart and He knows what I need so He WILL provide those things for me. Amen

I, just as I am sure every one of you have done, have fallen into trying to make things happen and I realize that has brought me nowhere, so that has been another look into my life

Thanks to all my friends for being there and accepting me for my flaws and still loving me!!

In the end it is so much more peaceful when God is in control!